It seems strange how I get a letter from a solicitor asking me to stay away from my children's school, yet my ex thinks its OK to contact me via face book.
I purposely didn't have a face book or my space account for this very reason, I have already had to change my mobile number twice, change my email address, seems I should have stuck to my guns and not had an account, but then again, why the hell should I have to put my life on hold?
Alan
Monday, 30 June 2008
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Music brings back feelings
Strange how a piece of music can bring back so many feelings, I was on youtube yesterday and came across, Armageddon soundtrack, aerosmith don't wanna miss thing: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vo_0UXRY_rY
My youngest daughter used to love this track, even tho it made her cry!!
Love Dad x
My youngest daughter used to love this track, even tho it made her cry!!
Love Dad x
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Time goes by - I guess its over
As you can see from the dates from my blogs I have not written for a while, I can only put the feelings I have of not seeing my children like that of a bereavement of a loved one.
I know that may sound a little gruesome but in the past 7 / 8 months since I really had a proper conversation with my children, they seem to be in my thoughts less and less, that in its self is very worrying, but I guess this is how I cope.
The old saying "out of site out of mind" is not what I am saying, but like with the passing of a loved one, things do get easier with time.
I attempted to go and see my son at his school on the 10th of June 2008, I did see him, he has grown and looks different than I remember, the biggest shock for me was how he was with me, kind of cold, unsure, not frightened but not sure if he should come and say "Hello Dad", he didn't. I had to go and say hi to him, what a change from the boy that went to the concert with me back in Feb 2007.
After I went to the school I get a letter from my ex-wife solicitor stating that I should not go to the school, my children do not want to see me, hmm, strange that since there is no court order in place or any restrictions in place, I can do as I please with regards to seeing my children, I have never broken any laws nor will I.
My conclusion to any fathers facing the same issues as me is either fight it all the way, it is very, very expensive, I spent £2,500.00 just to get the 6 weeks (4 weeks access, when the ex actually showed up with the children) or 8 hours in total. Or learn to live without your children, it can be done, it is very hard but if, and I mean a big if, if you have support from family and friends you can continue with your life, never give up your prayers and always have your children in your heart and pray that one day when they are older they will want to know your side of the story and the truth, come and find you and say "I love you Dad"
Stay strong, with love
Alan
x
I know that may sound a little gruesome but in the past 7 / 8 months since I really had a proper conversation with my children, they seem to be in my thoughts less and less, that in its self is very worrying, but I guess this is how I cope.
The old saying "out of site out of mind" is not what I am saying, but like with the passing of a loved one, things do get easier with time.
I attempted to go and see my son at his school on the 10th of June 2008, I did see him, he has grown and looks different than I remember, the biggest shock for me was how he was with me, kind of cold, unsure, not frightened but not sure if he should come and say "Hello Dad", he didn't. I had to go and say hi to him, what a change from the boy that went to the concert with me back in Feb 2007.
After I went to the school I get a letter from my ex-wife solicitor stating that I should not go to the school, my children do not want to see me, hmm, strange that since there is no court order in place or any restrictions in place, I can do as I please with regards to seeing my children, I have never broken any laws nor will I.
My conclusion to any fathers facing the same issues as me is either fight it all the way, it is very, very expensive, I spent £2,500.00 just to get the 6 weeks (4 weeks access, when the ex actually showed up with the children) or 8 hours in total. Or learn to live without your children, it can be done, it is very hard but if, and I mean a big if, if you have support from family and friends you can continue with your life, never give up your prayers and always have your children in your heart and pray that one day when they are older they will want to know your side of the story and the truth, come and find you and say "I love you Dad"
Stay strong, with love
Alan
x
Thursday, 6 March 2008
First week of many....
Wow, its been just over a week now and we (me and Samantha) have not had any contact, emails, texts, voice mails or letters from my ex, and the police have not been around, I really cant beleive it!! :)
Unless you have read the text below you might not think to much of that but, this is the first time in over 13 months that we have had not contact, direct or indirect, indirect being in the form of a call or a letter to my mom.
Lets hope the peace continues.........
Unless you have read the text below you might not think to much of that but, this is the first time in over 13 months that we have had not contact, direct or indirect, indirect being in the form of a call or a letter to my mom.
Lets hope the peace continues.........
Friday, 22 February 2008
I know it has been a while since my last post but I have been doing research and finding out just how wide spread the sort of experience is, my experience, the experience of being totally alienated from your children and having to watch and listen as you see each of your children slowly turn against you, and now think that I am a total W****r, loser and a really bad father, hmm, please ask my partners 3 children who I live with if you want the truth on that.
Anyway ....
Through research and loads of support, thanks Sam, my truly fantastic and wonderful partner, only God knows what strength she has given me in the past 12 months, she has had to support me and put up with the fact that my ex has totally got it in for her, given her total abuse via phone, text, email and now even written letters through the front door, this has been going on every week for the past 13 months, every week.
What do the police and courts do.... yep, not a thing.
To be honest, after yet another 3 visits from the police this week, I kid you not, 3 times this week, I think me and Samantha have met every police officer that works and Bournville Lane police station, which is not to bad for Sam as she likes a man in uniform lol :) . (Only joking, still love you more Samantha!!) Oh not forgetting the odd prayer now and then I have come across some sites that I think will interest you, it is all to do with parental alienation, I will not try to describe it when the experts do a fer better job, if you go to Dr. L.F. Lowenstein site here:
http://www.parental-alienation.info/index.html you will find the whole shocking truth, and just how widespread this alienation is, now I have to fight on but if you want to help please just let people know about this blog or send them the link to either Dr. L.F. Lowenstein site or the following site, which I know is an American site but its a start:
http://www.parental-alienation-awareness.com
If any one, father, mother or grand parents wants to know more, just to get some support or knows of any where alienated parents can get support please post a reply.
I came across a poem off the parental alienation awareness site that really made me feel:
I have added to articles to my web site on this, again from the parental alienation awareness site, please give them a read and know that we all have feelings:
http://nlpsupport.com/articles/parental-alienation-syndrome/did-you-know-that-parental-alienation-is-a-form-of-child-abuse
and
http://nlpsupport.com/articles/parental-alienation-syndrome/a-kidnapped-mind/
Alan
Anyway ....
Through research and loads of support, thanks Sam, my truly fantastic and wonderful partner, only God knows what strength she has given me in the past 12 months, she has had to support me and put up with the fact that my ex has totally got it in for her, given her total abuse via phone, text, email and now even written letters through the front door, this has been going on every week for the past 13 months, every week.
What do the police and courts do.... yep, not a thing.
To be honest, after yet another 3 visits from the police this week, I kid you not, 3 times this week, I think me and Samantha have met every police officer that works and Bournville Lane police station, which is not to bad for Sam as she likes a man in uniform lol :) . (Only joking, still love you more Samantha!!) Oh not forgetting the odd prayer now and then I have come across some sites that I think will interest you, it is all to do with parental alienation, I will not try to describe it when the experts do a fer better job, if you go to Dr. L.F. Lowenstein site here:
http://www.parental-alienation.info/index.html you will find the whole shocking truth, and just how widespread this alienation is, now I have to fight on but if you want to help please just let people know about this blog or send them the link to either Dr. L.F. Lowenstein site or the following site, which I know is an American site but its a start:
http://www.parental-alienation-awareness.com
If any one, father, mother or grand parents wants to know more, just to get some support or knows of any where alienated parents can get support please post a reply.
I came across a poem off the parental alienation awareness site that really made me feel:
"Mommy, please, it's just not fair Daddy,
don't talk about Mommy when she's not there,
I love you both, don't make me choose,For
if I must, we all will lose,
I know that both my parents care,And in my life,
I want both there,"
Though Mommy and Daddy,
you're apart,
I love you both with all my heart."
I have added to articles to my web site on this, again from the parental alienation awareness site, please give them a read and know that we all have feelings:
http://nlpsupport.com/articles/parental-alienation-syndrome/did-you-know-that-parental-alienation-is-a-form-of-child-abuse
and
http://nlpsupport.com/articles/parental-alienation-syndrome/a-kidnapped-mind/
Alan
Sunday, 2 September 2007
Police and social services
Throughout all of this complete episode that has now been going on for nine months I have to bring to out how I now feel about the police and social services, the institutions that are supposed to be in place to look after and protect you, I have found to be totally bias and a complete waste of time.
Drunk at 1.30 in the morning
You see my ex wife came around to my house at 1.30am, with my eldest daughter in the car, so to try and paint a better picture I will start…..
It was just a usual night really, the same routine, until around 1.30am in the morning, we were awoken with what seemed like a banging and a knocking at the door, you know how it is when you have just woken up, or been woken up, it takes you a moment or to gather your thoughts and ‘wake up’. Well I went down stairs to look out the front window and there was my ex-wife kicking well booting really the front door, yelling and screaming for me to open the door because she wanted to ‘talk’ yeah right, like I was gonna open the door and talk to her in that frame of mind, I have learned my lesson from the last time, it ended up with my getting arrested and her getting off Scott free, hmm, I see a pattern forming here, it the one where she causes all the s**t and I get the blame!
Anyway, after calling the police on 999, because neither me or my partner would answer the door, and to be fair to the police they did respond very quickly, this is where my perspective or view on the police started to change in the way that all this incident was handled, yes I know that police have a difficult job but the way all of this was handled and, to this date, the lack of anything happening really has made me feel differently about the police, and to a greater degree the social services of this country.
As the police tried to get my ex to move away and to go home, remember it was now around 2.00am in the morning, the eye opener in the fact that my ex can tell the police to “Get the F**k away from me”, “leave me the F**k alone”, “who the hell do you think you are F**king talking to”, and not even get a telling off for makes you wonder what would have happened if I had opened the door and a verbal slagging match would have taken place, I feel I would have been arrested again and in some way it would have been my fault, but that it just my opinion.
My partner at this point was fantastic, keeping my calm and talking to the police, I even got to have a chat with my daughter, the whole reason my ex was supposed to have come round, and when I did sit down with my daughter on the wall outside my house, with a police officer present, my daughter did not have a word to say to me, apart from bad language, hmm, sounds like her mom, but that’s for later on.
Anyway after what seemed like an age my ex finally got in to her car and the police came to talk to me and my partner where is was brought up that they thought my ex had been drinking, so my partner asked if something should be done about that, Oh both the police officers said, I thought we could smell alcohol! Amazingly they had not even called the traffic police at this point, it had to be pointed out that perhaps they should call the traffic police and maybe, just maybe she was driving while under the influence with a minor in the car!
The drive away
Anyway, as the police set in the car waiting for my ex to drive off, before she did she got back out the car, and tried to knock back on my door, she was moved away yet again by both the police officers, giving them both a mouth full of abuse as before. She then drove off, now remember that my daughter is in the car with her, anyway she subsequently gets arrested and taken to the station on suspicion of drink driving, over the next few weeks I do try to confirm if she has been banned but I do not get anywhere, even talking to social services it a complete waste of time, you would think that more would be done about someone drink driving with children in the car, seems you have to either kill a child or do really bad things before they even “bat an eye lid”, as you can guess my calls to them fell on deaf ears, all I wanted to do was make sure my children were ok they never did......
Drunk at 1.30 in the morning
You see my ex wife came around to my house at 1.30am, with my eldest daughter in the car, so to try and paint a better picture I will start…..
It was just a usual night really, the same routine, until around 1.30am in the morning, we were awoken with what seemed like a banging and a knocking at the door, you know how it is when you have just woken up, or been woken up, it takes you a moment or to gather your thoughts and ‘wake up’. Well I went down stairs to look out the front window and there was my ex-wife kicking well booting really the front door, yelling and screaming for me to open the door because she wanted to ‘talk’ yeah right, like I was gonna open the door and talk to her in that frame of mind, I have learned my lesson from the last time, it ended up with my getting arrested and her getting off Scott free, hmm, I see a pattern forming here, it the one where she causes all the s**t and I get the blame!
Anyway, after calling the police on 999, because neither me or my partner would answer the door, and to be fair to the police they did respond very quickly, this is where my perspective or view on the police started to change in the way that all this incident was handled, yes I know that police have a difficult job but the way all of this was handled and, to this date, the lack of anything happening really has made me feel differently about the police, and to a greater degree the social services of this country.
As the police tried to get my ex to move away and to go home, remember it was now around 2.00am in the morning, the eye opener in the fact that my ex can tell the police to “Get the F**k away from me”, “leave me the F**k alone”, “who the hell do you think you are F**king talking to”, and not even get a telling off for makes you wonder what would have happened if I had opened the door and a verbal slagging match would have taken place, I feel I would have been arrested again and in some way it would have been my fault, but that it just my opinion.
My partner at this point was fantastic, keeping my calm and talking to the police, I even got to have a chat with my daughter, the whole reason my ex was supposed to have come round, and when I did sit down with my daughter on the wall outside my house, with a police officer present, my daughter did not have a word to say to me, apart from bad language, hmm, sounds like her mom, but that’s for later on.
Anyway after what seemed like an age my ex finally got in to her car and the police came to talk to me and my partner where is was brought up that they thought my ex had been drinking, so my partner asked if something should be done about that, Oh both the police officers said, I thought we could smell alcohol! Amazingly they had not even called the traffic police at this point, it had to be pointed out that perhaps they should call the traffic police and maybe, just maybe she was driving while under the influence with a minor in the car!
The drive away
Anyway, as the police set in the car waiting for my ex to drive off, before she did she got back out the car, and tried to knock back on my door, she was moved away yet again by both the police officers, giving them both a mouth full of abuse as before. She then drove off, now remember that my daughter is in the car with her, anyway she subsequently gets arrested and taken to the station on suspicion of drink driving, over the next few weeks I do try to confirm if she has been banned but I do not get anywhere, even talking to social services it a complete waste of time, you would think that more would be done about someone drink driving with children in the car, seems you have to either kill a child or do really bad things before they even “bat an eye lid”, as you can guess my calls to them fell on deaf ears, all I wanted to do was make sure my children were ok they never did......
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