Home from home

I ended up staying at my brother’s place, not to bad I hear you say, but my brother is disabled and lives in a 1 bed roomed bungalow, now I love my brother but he is very disorganised and his living room, which was to be my bedroom, was full of junk, books, beds and old sofa. So a bit of hard work and some trips to the local tip and I at least had a place to lay my head.

Ex-con as a neighbour
Anyway, after 6 - 8 months I managed to get a place of my own, not a palace, in fact in a flat in one of the roughest parts of the city, for example, my neighbour, below me, had just got out of prison for ABH and drug offences, really scary from the outward appearance but when you got to know him, he was a really good guy, his friends on the other hand, coming to his flat at 3 in the morning with guns and knives, just for a fix was a bit of a wake up call for me to get the hell out of there!!!

Sorry for all the history but I just needed to get down a very brief background as to where I was coming from, my past 15 years in a few lines, sorry if I have bored anybody!!

Still at work.
I would also like to add that throughout all of this I was working full time and also going to college on the evenings, looking back, I can see that keeping busy and taking each days as it comes is what has kept me sane and is a massive reason that I can continue without seeing my children at the moment, a lessen learned and one that I hope people can tale encouragement from.

Back to the family home.
Me being me, soft, daft, plain stupid are some of the words my friends and family have said, but I did go back to live with my ex, I gave up my flat and independence, but, boy, what a mistake, I should have took the hint when I had to move all my belongings in with no help and on the day of the ‘move’ my car would not start, hmm, how many hints did I need huh?

Over again
Wow, after about 1 week I understood why I left in the first place, don’t get me wrong, being back with my children was fantastic, but the arguments, the over drinking, not me I hasten to add, had all started again, F**k sake, what I mug I was, I even gave her my car, took on her finance and debts, see, mug, Muppet, fool, spring to mind, well guess what I totally agree. What is done is done but yet again I was left to go back to my parents, even more skint, but with a life lesson learnt that will never be repeated. Just to add this cycle of back and forth has been going on since 2004; see I am a slow learner!!!

Beck and call
See still not learning my lesson, well, this is a different lesson, but in the same vain, I was still being used to baby sit whenever called upon and be an on tap bank and money lender, no money giver is more accurate and to the point, for me I only ever saw the positive side of this because it meant I got to see my children, see writing this down now I still cant believe how ‘used’ I was and how much of a walk over I had been for so many years. But things have a habit of changing….

Fun begins
This is where the fun begins, the fact I have not seen my children on a regular basis for over 8 months and how despite it all I still wake up with a smile on my face each morning, well most times, and its not wind either!!!

New partner.
My new partner has been so kind, supportive and a rock for me, for the past 8 months she has give me words of encouragement, words of advice and even a few home truths, which I have had to “take on the chin”, words can not describe how much she means to me, in a nut shell, if I had my children in my life on a regular basis along with my new partner, life could not get any better for me, well, that is my dream and I will make it happen.