Todays thought...

I know I am writing this blog with in retrospect or hindsight, but to be honest, even now while I am writing this it is still really hard to believe that it has been 8 months without regular and, what I would call supportive, constructive contact, the kind of contact where you can address issues of boyfriends, in the case of my 14 your old, homework, the dangers of peer pressure, sex, smoking drink and drugs.

Remember we were all 14 once, well unless your younger reading this, then, you will be 14 one day!! anyway I always remember from my time at school what 14 year old boys and older were like around girls of that age, I was one of them boys, so I know how peer pressure works and the consequences that can happen if you are not strong enough in yourself and have the support of your family and friends around you and how decisions you make now can effect your life.

Time of the month
With both my girls, well before I had no contact at all, I would always take time out to talk to them individually, see how they were getting on and if they had any issues that they did not want to talk to anyone else about, if they did we would address them, calmly and with a positive attitude of wanting to sort things out, for example when your daughter comes to you and tell you she has 'come on', you either faint, panic, call for an ambulance or stay calm, talk and re-assure her and take a trip to the chemist and pick up some pads, oh, just in case you are wondering, I did the latter :)

With regards to my younger two children, 12 and 10, again just being able to be say a few supportive words or just be there for a hug has always been a big part of my life, so yes I do miss that, but for the children to hear arguments, see fighting between my and my ex-wife was no good for them, devil and the deep blue see spring to mind but in my children are always in my thoughts and prayers, and with my new partner by my side, this small, short term pain we are going through will bring about long term gain, of that I am sure.

Mental programming
My younger daughter who is 12 has been really calm through all of this, well so I thought, I got an email supposedly off her, slating me and saying really hurtful things about my new partner, hmm, I really think there should be a law stopping parents, what I can only describe as 'mental programming' their children against the other partner, this has to be a form of child abuse, well this is my opinion anyway as I have seen first hand how 3 loving, caring children are slowly turning on their dad, remember I can not contact my children in any way, all telephone numbers and email addresses have been changed and if I rely to any emails I get, like I did above, they now bounce back to me.

But after talking to my 12 year olds mentor at school, which I arranged for both my girls to have this support from school because I could see that they were not getting support at home, she is doing well in her studies and getting on with things the best she can.